Day 23: The Art of Saying No
“If we can accept things just the way they are, we’re not going to be greatly upset by anything.”
― Charlotte Joko Beck
Nope. no. NO. NOOOO! Seriously though, NO.
Remember that whole month of saying Yes!? That was really fun. So fun. But sometimes I think I need a month or maybe just moments of letting out a big ol' fat "nope." Not necessarily saying "no" to going out and trying new things but rather putting my foot down when my boundaries are crossed.
Accepting reality just the way things are is not about going with the flow so much that you get caught up in some disastrous tornado and you have to surrender to living in that chaos. Accepting reality is seeing things clearly enough to know when to say "yes" and when to get the eff outta there. I used to get really upset by all kinds random crap because a. I couldn't see objectively and b. I had seriously loosey-goosey boundaries. I thought saying "yes" was being kind, so I said yes all the time until I felt taken advantage of. Then I'd end up feeling angry and frustrated and for lack of a better phrase, playing the victim. Then I'd wonder how the hell I ended up there.
“It is extremely important to be able to make negative assertions. We must be able to say what is ‘not me’ in order to have a ‘me’. What we like has no meaning unless we know what we don’t like. Our yes has no meaning if we never say no. My chosen profession has no passion if ‘just anyone would do’. Our opinions and thoughts mean very little if there is nothing we disagree with.”
― Henry Cloud
So the challenge for this month (and in life) is sussing out the reality of any given situation and figuring out what I am willing to put up with and realizing that sometimes, the kindest answer is "No."
Meditation Today: 30 Minutes