Day 27: Fleek the Definition of Me

I haven’t been as great about blogging this month. Partly because this experiment is just not as direct and tangible as my month of cleaning, where I can easily post pictures of my new and improved Marie Kondo folding technique. It’s also partly because I don’t have a singular business task, like “do my taxes”. And finally, the real real truth of why I’m not blogging is because it feels very vulnerable to talk about business.

Business is about SELLING yourself, it thrives on the poker face. In business, each owner is in their own hip hop video droppin rhymes like “I’m the illest!” “I’m the queen bee, makin more billions than all you bitches!” Obviously, if I was in a hip hop video, I’d be channeling Foxy Brown and Lil Kim because I’m stuck in the 90s.

"Flexin' on the 'gram like aye" -Cardi B

You know what I mean though right? No one on Instagram is posting their worst images and venting about the amount of credit card debt they are currently in to cover costs. No business coach ever would suggest you talk like this, it’s a bad strategy.

People love to talk about how much of a hot mess they once were but it must stay in the past tense. “I used to be so broke but I did these 4 things and now I make 7 figures! You can too, just sign up here (and give me your money)!” Business is a place where everyone puts their inner Cardi B forward. AS THEY SHOULD. Unfortunately, it makes for a difficult terrain to get real about.

So what’s my truth?

I think I’m a good photographer with miles of room to grow. I think I have potential but to remedy that, I could stand to pick up my camera today and spend so much more time working on my craft, both technically and in business. I think I get in my own way, and let my mind’s negativity trip me up. If I remind myself that I need only to get up everyday, start working and let the creative magic flow while shutting down the ego, I would be much better off.

I’ve also been in situations where I am with other photographers and I see how much more confidently they carry themselves in their work. It’s interesting to see the difference in the way they talk versus the way I do. Makes me wonder why I am insecure when I don’t have to be. Makes me wonder what they know that I don’t. Makes me wonder if some people are innately built with lots of confidence and others aren’t or if it is a case of experience and practice. It’s probably both.

Side note for creatives. I had the most duh realization this weekend. “No client is going to give me the creative work I really want, I have to go out there and make it myself.” Do y’all already know this? It was my ah ha moment.

I’m heading out to Marfa, Texas for my very first photo retreat called Yeah Field Trip. I’m so pumped to meet other photographers and take tons of courses and just shoot for funsies. Because of this trip, I’m going to extend this experiment till March 5th. Fingers crossed I’ll come back with fake nails and stilettos rappin like

Fleek, the definition of me
I keep it in check papi
I am a whole different breed
I'm Cardi (Sarah!), capiche
Them other ones can't compete
I make bitches want to retreat
I go to the desert for weeks
When I come back I come back with heat!